Stop Yelling!

I don’t ever remember hearing my parents yell. In fact, hearing parents yell was so foreign to me that when I was at my friend’s house and her mother yelled at her I remember being surprised. I was even more surprised that she just sat there. I knew that if my mother yelled it would mean there was an emergency. But her comment was that her mother yelled a lot so it didn’t mean anything. As a mother of teenagers, the decibel level in our home kept rising until I found myself yelling also. This bothered me so I decided that there would be no more yelling in our home. This was easier said than done – especially with four teenagers who would get on each others nerves.  So I told them that if they wanted to yell, they could go in the garage (since we were in Alaska and I thought being put outside in the winter would be a bad idea.) Or the other thing they could do was lie down on their backs and yell that way. For some reason it is really hard to feel like yelling while lying down or being in an outside area like the garage where it isn’t as comfortable. So for the most part, yelling stopped.  The steps I found out that worked for us were to first make a decision as to what I wanted to happen, then make a change with myself, then look for creative solutions to the problem that put a new twist into it, and then give it time to change. Yelling stopped, but as one of my sons has since taught me, it is really important to make sure disagreements are worked out and not just ignored. Home is a good place to learn how to do conflict resolution rather than just burying things under the rug.  Just a thought.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Stop Yelling!

  1. Meredith

    I can TOTALLY identify with this! And I don’t even have teenagers….

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